Sometimes it’s hard to tell if I’ve gained some kind of otherworldly knowledge or if I’m simply SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!
Have I become obsolete, even before I have had the chance to show my usefulness to this society? Is this it? The show ends before it begins? I’m sorry if this is awfully depressing for a first post, but it’s only a matter of time before the young, impressionable artist becomes disheartened by the tasteless world.
Perhaps I shot too high. Perhaps I am simply too impatient. I always thought, back when I had just graduated a few years ago, that I would become successful instantly. Well, maybe I’d go hungry for a few weeks – there’s nothing wrong with a few struggles here and there – but then I’d get things done, let my muse bring brilliance to my work, and get discovered. Instead here I am, just another stereotypical Liberal Arts degree holder, stuck working at a dead-end job instead of trying to make the world just a little bit more beautiful.
Work alone is so exhausting, and I cannot even get a peace of mind at home. I sleep. I eat. I work. Rinse and repeat. At first I thought, hey, this is just for a few weeks, and then life would be better (because it couldn’t possibly be worse!). But weeks turn into months, and months turn into year. Nothing’s changed. Will the cycle ever end?
It seems the tediousness of my daily life has driven my muse out of me. I still dream, thank god, but it seems my dreams cannot touch the canvas anymore. I have become a desultory dreamer, seeing beauty but not knowing how to share it with the rest of the world.
Forgive me. I realise this is ridiculously dreary for a first post, but if this blog were to be a reflection of my life, I suppose I just set the tone right.